Jen & Dave's Story
It's taken me quite a while to find the words to express my feelings but it would be unjust not to express our gratitude to our fantastic team. Even now it still feels like the people who helped our baby into the world are "our team"; just for us. That's how they made us feel, as if we were the only people on earth and I still feel we meant a lot to them, as they always will to us.
Our one to one journey started in April 2017 when we discovered that we were expecting a baby (I say discovered as if I hadn't done about 5 tests before my period was even due!). We were allocated a named midwife who we slowly got to build a relationship with. This was a strange experience for me as I had just taken a break from training to become a midwife myself. My training was within the NHS, however, where midwives rarely had time to accept a kindly offered cup of tea and if we did, we knew we would later pay for it as we couldn't afford a loo stop! Sadly, our named midwife left shortly after and we were allocated a new midwife. That midwife was Debi who promptly arrived one morning like a breath of fresh air and made me feel comfortable pretty quickly. It would be unfair to say it didn't take me a while to accept a new midwife having had continuity of care with our previous midwife, however, she became very familiar in our home. My husband even once asked her for tips on how to avoid lumps when making custard (the festive season was upon us!).
Debi often had a student with her. On one occasion she brought a qualified midwife who was clearly very experienced but was new to one to one. Her name was Dani and it was her first ever day working with Debi. She seemed enthusiastic and slightly nervous which I recognised as a familiar feeling (having felt that way a million times over as a student). Debi was due to go away to Australia to visit her son shortly after my due date which initially being naive, I didn't think would be a problem. 8 days later we waved goodbye to Debi and there was no sign of our baby yet! Eek! I had an induction booked and assumed that I would end up going in for that...
On 4th January 2018 in mid afternoon my labour began! Latent phase lasted most of the afternoon. We went on a long walk to help it along the way. 9pm came and 'surges' began coming more frequently. I attempted to sleep through the night and coped quite well but thought I had better let the midwife know they were becoming more intense and frequent. I called at 5.30 am and had clearly woken Dani up but she didn't seem to mind. I was secretly a little scared and her warmth made me feel better. We coped well with breathing and mobilisation and welcomed Dani at around 2pm the Friday afternoon. We soon discovered that I was 5cm dilated so the necessary calls were made and Dani informed us that she would be staying to welcome our baby into the word. We ate dinner together, chatted, listened to music etc. 7pm came and I felt as if transition phase was upon us so Dani called her second midwife Emma and the MaMa, Sarah who had wanted to come to support us. Time passed, they arrived and slipped into the environment easily. It was as if they had always been there and they were so calm and helpful.
It soon became clear that our baby was taking it's sweet time and we had to try to coax baby out. Up and down the stairs I went, squats, all fours, alone time to let the oxytocin flow, you name it we tried it. Dani examined me to check everything was as expected and found that I had a rim of cervix left and wasn't quite as fully dilated as expected. She recommended that I lay on my left side to ensure the surges effectively dilated the last part of cervix by directing the surges there. On to the sofa we went and cuddled up with a giant teddy bear soft toy. Hours seemed to pass and I was feeling so tired, I remember feeling very reassured by Dani being in the room that I didnt want her to leave, I kept asking where she was if she nipped to the loo or to grab a drink (sorry Dani). Emma was also a calming presence, supported me to re centre and utilise hypnobirthing techniques after having declared that I had "forgotten everything"!
There was some discussion around transferring in to hospital as things really were taking longer than expected and I had now also had intermittent high temperatures. Being fully dilated, I really feared giving birth in the back of an ambulance; so we all agreed that in a last attempt to encourage baby out an artificial rupture of membranes (breaking of my waters) was an option. Following this, surges felt a lot more intense and so powerful. I mobilised a little more, changed position several times to find what worked and FINALLY the moment was upon us. Dani exclaimed that she could see babys head!
Evelyn Danielle was born at 02:02 on 06/01/18. I brought her straight up to my chest and discovered her gender which we had kept a surprise (although, I had a feeling she was a girl). I had opted for physiological third stage (letting my body birth the placenta itself) so waited and gazed at my precious girl for a few minutes when Emma asked if it was ok to give me the injection after all. I knew this meant I was losing more blood than expected, however; Dani and Emma remained calm and had the situation under control quickly.
Evie then got weighed and weighed in at 8lb 1 oz, no wonder she seemed big when I first lay eyes on her...that was actually my first thought; "wow, you're a good size". She had her first breastfeed and seemed to latch on well, despite having a posterior tongue tie. The next few hours passed in a haze as we waited for an ambulance to transfer us to hospital. This was due to a suspected third degree tear. I feel as if a cup of tea and toast featured somewhere in this time also.
The ambulance arrived and we were taken to Warrington maternity unit. Dani held Evie during the journey and whilst we were waiting to be buzzed into the unit, I spotted that Dani was showing Evie the particularly clear night sky and talking to her (whatever was said remains between them, but it was beautiful to witness). Despite having been awake supporting our birth for 24 hours, her passion and genuine love for what she does shone brighter than the stars that night.